Mothers' Day

Ahh...Mother's Day. The day we set aside to honor our Moms. We buy cards, flowers, chocolates. We make restaurant reservations. We really try our hardest to pretend for one day that all is right with the world.

Just look at this fresh young couple. Mommy wanted to be a nun. Daddy wanted to be a priest. Both wanted desperately to love each other, give love to others and make a difference in a world that was upside down.

I say Mommy and Daddy because at the time this picture was taken we were 6 months away from the birth of our first child (notice the lack of a white wedding dress).

Fast forward almost 40 years. Mother's Day has never been pleasant for me. I was a very insecure, fearful...may I say "crazy" mother. (I will supply doctor's notes if necessary)

The hurtful words I hurled at my children echo in my memory. The loss of babies still wrenches my heart.

I used to pray "God take this pain away", "God take me away".

Just this morning after a week of flashbacks and nightmares because of PTSD my prayer became:

"God, may you be glorified through all this garbage"

I won't offer you a Happy Mother's Day. I will say Bless you this day that we honor our mothers, our birth and our re-birth.